INESSA'S JOURNAL

“Stay awake and pray, so that you won’t enter into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” — Matthew 26:41

Hello, warrior. I pray you’re doing well today. Lately, the Holy Spirit has been teaching me what faith really is, and I wanted to share what He’s been showing me.

I used to think faith meant believing God would answer my prayer, but when I walked through one of the hardest seasons of my life, I realized faith goes much deeper than that. There were days when it felt like every door was closed. I knocked, but nothing opened. I prayed, but nothing seemed to move, every plan I had failed, every solution I tried led nowhere, my flesh wanted to panic, strive harder, figure everything out, and fix it myself, but God was teaching me something greater. The Holy Spirit reminded me of Jesus’ words in Matthew 26:41: “Stay awake and pray… The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” That verse came alive. The battle wasn’t only happening in that area. The real battle was happening inside me, would I feed my fear, or would I feed my spirit?

The enemy does not like what God is doing through His people. When you begin pursuing God’s Kingdom, expect opposition. Attacks may come from every direction, but what I’ve learned is this, God often allows those battles because He is strengthening your spirit and revealing the authority you already have in Jesus Christ. Instead of striving, the Holy Spirit led me to do something different, pray, worship, give thanks for this uncomfortable situation and read His Word. At first, my flesh resisted, I didn’t feel thankful, I didn’t feel like worshiping, I wanted answers, but every time I chose worship over worry, every time I chose prayer over panic, I wasn’t changing God, I was allowing God to change me. I wasn’t trying harder, I was feeding my spirit instead of my flesh. Then the Holy Spirit gave me a picture I will never forget.

Imagine a baby holding tightly to an old bottle. The baby refuses to let go because it’s all they know, but the parent is standing there with something much better. God gently spoke to my heart, “Just give it back to Me. let go, I have something greater waiting for you.” That was exactly what I was doing. I was clinging to my own understanding while God was asking me to trust Him. The moment I surrendered, something changed, not my circumstances, my heart, He gave me peace and not because the answer had arrived, but because His presence had. Then I felt the Holy Spirit ask me a question that pierced my heart “Will you still serve Me now?” That question wasn’t easy. I start thinking, how could I encourage others when everything around me looked like it was falling apart? How could I talk about faith when I hadn’t seen the breakthrough yet? But that’s exactly what faith is, faith isn’t praising God only after the miracle, faith praises Him while you’re still waiting, faith isn’t pretending everything is okay, faith is knowing God is still good even when life doesn’t make sense.

Jesus said in John 7:37–39: “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink… Whoever believes in Me… rivers of living water will flow from deep within him.” That living water is the Holy Spirit. When I tried solving everything on my own, I lost my peace, I became exhausted, nothing I did seemed to work. But when I fell to my knees and surrendered this situation to God, He reminded me that this battle wasn’t mine to carry. Jesus had already paid the price, my responsibility wasn’t to carry the burden, my responsibility was to trust Him with it.

The story of Daniel reminds me of this truth. God heard Daniel’s prayer from the very first day, but the answer was delayed because there was a battle taking place in the spiritual realm. Sometimes we mistake a delayed answer for a silent God, they are not the same, God hears every prayer, even when you cannot see Him working, He is fighting battles you cannot see.

Today, I still haven’t received every answer I’ve prayed for but I have something even more valuable, I have His peace, I know He is fighting for me and honestly, that’s enough. If you’re walking through a difficult season today, don’t give up. Don’t let the enemy convince you that God has forgotten you, keep praying, keep worshiping, keep thanking Him before you see the breakthrough, keep feeding your spirit, because real faith keeps walking when there is no evidence, keeps trusting when nothing makes sense, and keeps believing because it knows the character of God.

I pray that the Holy Spirit fills you with peace today. I pray He reminds you that He is near, that He has heard your prayers, and that He is fighting for you even now. Stay strong, warrior. The enemy may be angry because of what God is doing in your life, but remember what Jesus told Peter “I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” (Luke 22:32) One day, your testimony will strengthen someone else’s faith, don’t stop believing, the battle may be real but so is the God who fights for you.